sherlockian-rhapsody:

Kill Them All (Let it Go Parody)
A song by Steven Moffat

Lyrics:
I’ve read the script of “The Empty Hearse”, not a plot twist to be seen.
It all was so gay and happy, and it looks like Mark’s the king…
I bet the fans already know they’re gonna cry
Couldn’t make me change, Heaven knows they’ve tried.
“Don’t kill the Ponds, don’t make John sad,
Mary’s a good girl, you just can’t make her bad!
All of these feels I cannot hold!”
Well, here i go…

Kill them all, kill them all
And you won’t laugh anymore
Kill them all, kill them all
I won’t explain the Reichenbach Fall
I don’t care if you think they’re gay,Mary marries John…
You’ll keep writing fanfictions anyway.

First you write a good cliffhanger that will leave them all in tears
To discover what will happen, they’ll have to wait for years!
Add a love story that won’t last, a moving soundtrack, some flashbacks from the past,
A little bit of mystery
That’s it

Kill them all, kill them all
It’s my TV show after all
Kill them all, kill them all
Break your heart and steal your soul
Here I stand, the pen’s in my hands.
I will make you cry

Remember, Sherlock fell and crashed into the ground
Rory Williams has died so many times that I lost count
Then I killed Irene Adler, Jim and River Song
They all came back to life, but who knows for how long?

Kill them all, kill them all
I’ll destroy everything you love
Kill them all, kill them all
The next one could be John
Here I stand, the pen’s in my hands
If it makes you cry….who cares if it doesn’t make any sense?

(I’m sorry guys, I’m so so sorry. It’s just that…FROZENLOCK.
I just want to clarify that I admire and love Steven Moffat and his work, this song is just a stupid thing that I had in mind.)

Are you the queen of an alternate country? Are you feeling uncool next to your peers because you don’t have an army of minions who do your bidding?
Well look no further- Sloth Minions are here to help!
Sloth Minions will do your every bidding in ten times the time you could’ve already done it yourself! Want a bowl of mac n’ cheese? No problem! Sloth Minions will get it to you within a month of the request!
Just look at Sloth Minions next to the leading brand: on average, Sloth Minions deliver your requests 1.62 times faster than the leading brand! 
Call toll free today at the number scanning along your screen at illegible speeds to order your Sloth Minions today for just 9easy payments of $49.99. That’s right! Just 9easy payments of 49.99! And if you call within the next 9.14 seconds, we’ll throw in a set of authentic synthetic German hand towels, yours free! (Just pay shipping and handling)
So what are you waiting for? Your unlimited rule awaits!
Sloth Minions are not for those with a wide range of fungal diseases. Side effects from using Sloth Minions may include increased risk of heart attack, drowning, starvation, food poisoning, internal bleeding, shock, panic, omg-who’s-in-my-room disorder, and even death. Do not use Sloth Minions if you have a history of irrational phobias. Sloth Minions are non-refundable and are not recommended as gifts. Please consult your doctor before ordering Sloth Minions. Do not use Sloth Minions while operating heavy machinery as they may get in your way and fall off. Misuse and mistreatment of Sloth Minions may result in imprisonment or a fine up to $5000. Please rule responsibly.
Call now!
Pin It

Are you the queen of an alternate country? Are you feeling uncool next to your peers because you don’t have an army of minions who do your bidding?

Well look no further- Sloth Minions are here to help!

Sloth Minions will do your every bidding in ten times the time you could’ve already done it yourself! Want a bowl of mac n’ cheese? No problem! Sloth Minions will get it to you within a month of the request!

Just look at Sloth Minions next to the leading brand: on average, Sloth Minions deliver your requests 1.62 times faster than the leading brand! 

Call toll free today at the number scanning along your screen at illegible speeds to order your Sloth Minions today for just 9easy payments of $49.99. That’s right! Just 9easy payments of 49.99! And if you call within the next 9.14 seconds, we’ll throw in a set of authentic synthetic German hand towels, yours free! (Just pay shipping and handling)

So what are you waiting for? Your unlimited rule awaits!

Sloth Minions are not for those with a wide range of fungal diseases. Side effects from using Sloth Minions may include increased risk of heart attack, drowning, starvation, food poisoning, internal bleeding, shock, panic, omg-who’s-in-my-room disorder, and even death. Do not use Sloth Minions if you have a history of irrational phobias. Sloth Minions are non-refundable and are not recommended as gifts. Please consult your doctor before ordering Sloth Minions. Do not use Sloth Minions while operating heavy machinery as they may get in your way and fall off. Misuse and mistreatment of Sloth Minions may result in imprisonment or a fine up to $5000. Please rule responsibly.

Call now!